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This could be my big break! It seems that the playing field in the fiercely competitive market for hot guys to advertise alcohol in once-Great Britain has been levelled. No more will the hunky likes of George Cloony and Brad Pitt have a monopoly on opportunities to induce English women to swoon their way to the nearest liquor store.

I had to check the date on this Times article, fully expecting it to read April 1st. This is the stuff of parody. But it's for real. I'm struggling to find words to express how agog I am at this. I can't even make it to outrage, because it's so ludicrous. This law is meant to force the entire miserable island to pretend to forget that there is a link between sex and alcohol, not to level the playing field for those with my good looks, but don't tell me that the stupidity of government in both serious critiques and silly parodies is mere exaggeration for literary effect.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for my new modelling career. Time to crop my long hair so I can craft a proper combover.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention a tip o' the hat to Bureaucrash for this link. I'd offer to tip a pint to them as well, but heaven forbid we establish a link between liquor and politics...


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