Skip to main content.

Thursday

In a stunning move by the IAU, the security council voted 4-0 (Earth abstained) to impose interplanetary sanctions on Pluto and three other solar bodies. The move comes after agressive actions by neighboring Neptune prompted the distant coalition of small bodies to seek formal recognition as "part of the Solar community of Planets".

Neptune, which has long seen tiny Pluto as an occupying force after repeated incursions into it's orbital territory, opposed the request. Pluto has long claimed that its incursions were only a response to repeated agressive attempts by Neptune to perturb its orbit. Neptune has called these incursions a "disproportionate response", and threatened to "drive the infidels into the Oort Cloud".

It is widely believed that Neptune's actions are being driven by Jupiter, the dominant player in the region. It is thought that the battle over Pluto was engineered by Jupiter to divert attention from its ongoing covert fusion program. Jupiter has used the solar black market to acquire significant mass, including, the inner planets fear, dark matter. Should it acquire sufficient mass to begin conducting fusion reactions, it could become the second "solar power" in the system, and pose a grave threat to its neighbors and even the entire system.

The sanctions imposed are expected to severely diminish or even eliminate the alreader meager unmanned probe traffic to the icy planet, whose economy is 100% dependent on the tourist trade.

Comments

Ah, I see the masters of arbitrary decisionmaking are at it again.

Does this mean that pluto will be on welfare soon?

Posted by Greg Freeman at Thursday, August 24, 2006 07:23 PM

Add Comment

This item is closed, it's not possible to add new comments to it or to vote on it