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This is the archive for September 2008

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Hey, all you Votistas out there! Can't decide who to vote for this November? Got a problem with both parties, both candidates, that leaves a seemingly insoluble dilemma? Still believe that voting is an effective way to send a message?

Which kind of voter are you....

Are you a Hillary! supporter who wants to slap Obama for snubbing a strong, independent woman, but can't bring yourself to help put McCain in the White House?

Are you a conservative who wants to vote for a real conservative, but doesn't want to reward your fellow spaghetti-spined Republicans for nominating a liberal loser?

Are you a Libertarian who knows there's not a clothespin in the world strong enough to protect your nose while voting for the former Head Cheerleader of the war on (some) drugs?

Are you a Ron Paul supporter who was already planning to throw your vote away anyway?

Are you a disgruntled ex-voter who wants the establishment to know that you're tired of being told you have to pick from a pair of evils who seem to get less and less lesser every year?

Are you a feminist who wants to send a strong message that women don't need to ride on a man's coattails to reach the highest positions?

Are you an Anarchist, Discordian, or follower of the Right Reverend Bob Dobbs who just wants to throw a monkey wrench in the gears?

Are you an anti-voter who wants to use your vote to announce that voting is pointless?

Did you swear to your friends that you would rather sit this one out than vote for Obama or McCain, but now really want to vote, and need a way to save face?

Are you an Alaskan who is proud that your governor was chosen to be the Republican nominee for VP, but would rather keep her up North where she can actually get something done, instead of seeing her shipped off to represent the US at Mozambique's President's granddaughter's wedding?

Do you need to practice your penmanship, and punching out a chad isn't challenging enough anymore?

Do you want an alternative candidate that is taken seriously by the media, the power brokers, and the judges at the annual Anchorage State Fair Moose Chili Cook-Off?

Why not write in Sarah Palin? For President.

It won't put her in the White House, but it sure would send a message, wouldn't it? And isn't that what really counts?