Skip to main content.


This is the archive for April 2007

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Geeasuzuh Keerist, now I'm gonna have to write about this too...

The Rutgers Girls are both "highly angered" and "deeply saddened" by Don Imus' comments about their hairstyles, amnong other things. Too bad the highs and lows here don't average out to level-headed.

Lets get Imus out of the way right off the bat. I've never had any interest in him. The few times I've listened to him, he was like a verbal Quaalude. That's the last thing I need in the morning, let alone any other time of day.

But in this, he was right. Or, at least, it turned out to be right. There's a temporal paradox here that I don't want to get into for fear of having to kill my Grandfather in 1932, but, like a self-fulfilliing prophesy, his accusation became right only after he made it... and only as a direct result of his making it... thought it might not have been right at the time he made it... See, I knew I shouldn't have gotten into it.

No, he was not right about their hair. As you can see in the picture, the horribly demeaning accusation of nappy-headedness is quite beyond the pale. (Oh, shit, am I allowed to say "pale"? Cause, I wouldn't want to get on Sharpie's bad side.)

What he was right about was that other part. You know, those two letters that apparently cause full grown adults to become "physically and emotionally drained" and "scarred for life". They'll certainly claim that this physical and emotional drainage was quite beyond their ability to stanch, but really, it's just a career choice. Well, not really a career, more like an office temp.

The word "ho" is slang for "whore". Back in the day, "whore" simply meant a woman who trades sex for money. There's a certain kind of honor in that profession, and so I'm concerned that Imus' use of the term for these newest members of Sharpie's stable might be offensive to old-school whores. On the other hand, the kind of pimps those women are in thrall to have no concern for making hay except for the rolling-in kind, so I don't expect any tearful public apologies will be required on that count.

The reason "whore" became an epithet arises from the notion that to whore yourself is to trade something of fundamental, lasting importance - like your integrity - in exchange for some immediate but temporary benefit. In modern usage we have "media whores" (Paris Hilton), "karma whores" (in online forums where comments are rated), and "link whores" (in the blogsosphere). In todays wide-wide-world of whoredom, it is not even money the whores seek, but that most ephemeral and questionable of payments: attention and approval.

The pimp himself realizes much more tangible benefits, but then that's the nature of a pimp. He'll use 'em up and leave them to fend for themselves on the street corner once they get a little too long in the tooth for generating the levels of business required to maintain his stock of feather boas, gold chains, and 3-inch whitewall tires.

At some point, these girls' victimhoods will no longer be in the full flower of youth, and their finely crafted pouts will no longer be the irresistable come-on that drives helpless johns like Imus into Sharpie's clutches. Playing this kind of hardball doesn't come with any golden parachutes. They'll realize that what they gave up so cheaply during a week spent on their metaphorical backs has been so irredeemably and irreplacably consumed by Sharpie and his fellow media pimp-wannabes that it won't be there for them later, when they'll (hopefully) understand it's full value.

Sharpie rails endlessly about, among many other things, "exploitation" of minorities. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle... Uh-oh, I've really stepped in it now. I'm sorry, Al, please forgive me. I promise to only think pure thoughts from now on. Please, make it go away, just tell me which cleverly acronymed front organization I'll need to send a check to to buy off my sins .